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What mentors expect of mentees

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mentor-mentee-changing-future

After last week’s post on “How to Be a Good Mentor“, I received a mail from the wonderful and talented Andrea Li (she’s part of the AWS Startup BD team) asking how to be a good mentee.  She asked:

  • Do you have any tips on what good mentors look for in mentees?
  • How does a mentee make it easier for a time-strapped mentor?
  • Mechanisms? Ways of communicating? Topics? Agenda?

You can tell Andrea’s a star, in that she even thought to ask this question.  To show respect for the mentor’s time investment, she immediately thought about more than just her own goals.  That consideration, and her ensuing preparation, will go a long way toward creating a mutually rewarding mentor/mentee relationship.  And the recommendations below apply very similarly to boss/employee interactions as well, so consider them as a way to improve your one-on-ones/relationship with your boss.

How to Be a Good Mentee

  • Communicate an Agenda/Topic – it helps if you have a specific topic you’d like to discuss.  For instance, maybe you’d like help developing a Career Development Plan.  Or, maybe you have questions about how to improve your interviewing skills.  If you can explain the meeting goals in advance, and send any documents you’d like the mentor to review (time permitting), that will show a respect for their time.  And if they don’t feel qualified on the topic, the mentor can politely decline and save you both some time.  I much prefer specific topic-driven meetings vs. open-ended coffees.
  • Drive the Scheduling & Stick to the Time Request – if you ask for 30 minutes, make sure you show up early and be ready to go.  And end on time.  You don’t want to be the reason their day got derailed.  And, of course, make the meeting location convenient for them (near their home, office, etc).
  • Don’t Request Too Much – Build the relationship slowly.  Make it easy for them to opt for either a fixed (i.e. monthly) schedule, or one that is more intermittent, driven by when you have specific topics you’d like to discuss.  Don’t make bigger asks until you’ve developed trust.
  • Don’t Assume the Mentors are Right – my friend @Micah suggested this one, and it’s really important to remember.  While the mentor may have a little more/different experience, it’s entirely possible that their advice is wrong.  So, take all of the advice with a grain of salt, and figure out what works for you.  This is a little easier when you have many people giving you varied opinions.
  • Follow Up on the Meeting – If you asked for their assistance with your career development plan, let them know how it went over with your boss.  Call out some specific suggestions that really made a difference.  The mentor will be happy that their time investment is paying off for you in positive ways.  Of course, remember to thank them for their time.
  • Find a Way to Help Them – you may feel like there’s little you could do to help your mentor, but if you think creatively, there’s probably a way.  Maybe they have questions about some new websites that the youngsters are flocking to.  Or, possibly they’d like some unbiased feedback about a new product their proposing.  Of course, you can always thank them publicly with a LinkedIn Recommendation, calling them out as a helpful mentor (that reflects well on them from a career perspective).
  • Pay It Forward – this mentoring thing only works if you continue the tradition.  I often tell startup founders that the best way they can help me is to help the next batch of founders.  Not only does it take those coffee meetings off my plate 🙂 but it makes the overall network stronger.  And, soon enough, they’ll recognize the questions coming their way as identical to their current challenges. Then, they can pass on that hard-earned wisdom!

As ever, what did I miss?

What job should you take, or company should you pursue?

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Pick a job by finding a great manager to follow

This question comes up in various ways, multiple times per month, and it came up in a chat I was having with Seattle angel investor Ken Glass today as he mentioned giving similar career advice to some students recently.

Either it’s someone asking me whether they should go work for a startup, or for a big company. Or it’s someone who asks me my advice about which job opportunity to take (or pursue), when they have several options.

My answer is almost always some variation of, “go for the option where you’re working with the best boss, and the best team, and for a company/product that you’re excited about.” Don’t optimize for salary, or even title; and potentially pick your 2nd or 3rd choice company, if it means working for a star, and with a great team. If you do pick well, you’ll follow that person’s rise through the organization, and you’ll have more opportunities than you know what to deal with. That same great manager will make sure you get exposure and recognition for your efforts. And they’ll tell you when you screw up, and help you avoid repeating mistakes. They won’t sugarcoat this important developmental feedback, and you’ll love them for it.

It’s hard to exaggerate how much leverage this simple choice can make, as it can fundamentally alter your career trajectory in good or terrible ways. I’ve seen people make the wrong decisions, and you can literally see the ripple effects through their resumes for years and decades. And at the same time, I regularly see it in positive ways with young stars — making these smart choices early on will benefit you for a lifetime.

Neil Patel’s wrong about why you don’t have a job

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Entrepreneur and blogger extraordinaire Neil Patel just wrote a post called “You’re the reason why you don’t have a job“.  I saw the tweet, and clicked over, expecting him to talk about your lack of passion, innovative thinking, creativity and the like.

Instead, he covered the mundane basics — things like having a 2-page (or shorter resume), personalizing your cover letters/intro mails, being on time, networking, etc.

I think the things he covered are the oxygen of job-hunting and interviewing — that is, if you aren’t doing those, you are going to be out of luck forEVER in today’s economy.

I think the real reasons that most people don’t have jobs go far beyond his list — these are the types of things that really get the door opened, and people paying attention:

1) Show Passion!  Your cover letter should contain your login/profile for the website (if it’s a consumer web company), your top idea(s) as to how to improve the experience, questions you have about things that puzzle you about the company, and more — show that you’ve dug in and are willing to question the status quo.

2) Go beyond networking.  Have back-channel feedback loops installed (i.e. ask a friend to introduce you, even if you’ve already made an initial outreach).  Get active on blog comments and/or tweet streams.  Show passion in user communities (i.e. if you’re an active Twilio-an, you’re much more likely to be noticed in the interview loop)

3) Volunteer/make a bold offer.  No one wants people to work for free (at least, ethical employers don’t want that), but we DO appreciate people who are willing to make us offers we can’t refuse.  That, plus a strong background, passion for our work, and social justification (#2 above), make it much easier to pull the trigger.

4) Get off your ass!  So many people sit around ‘waiting for people to hire them’; they’re the same people who bitch and moan about being asked to put in extra effort once they’re hired.  Get used to selling yourself, your skills, your abilities, and your passions — no one else is going to do it for you.

Also, refer to my ‘how to hire/fire at startups‘ — focus on the inverse of many of my examples — look for things that are trigger points in the relationship, and then just think the inverse.

Why are performance reviews so painful?

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performance review

Before I leave Unitus, I face the task of not only transitioning my job responsibilities (aka what the heck did I do every day that kept me so busy?) but also completing my team’s performance reviews, 360 reviews for co-workers, manager reviews and my own review.

Oh, joy.

Honestly, who enjoys doing performance reviews? Noone! Or, is it no one?