Like many people, I confused and conflated “Coaching” and “Mentoring” for many years. In business (more broadly), and in the tech/startup/entrepreneur community (more specifically), mentoring is everywhere. We’re all encouraged to seek out and serve as mentors. I’ve benefited from incredible mentors, and I’ve mentored hundreds (thousands?) of individuals over my 25+ year career as an employee/manager, founder, investor, and advisor.
In 2022, one of my mentors asked if I would coach some of the high-performing/potential employees at his company, and I jumped at the chance. But first, I told him, I wanted to learn more about what it takes to be a high-impact coach, and to unlearn some of the bad habits that may have crept in over the years.
I researched coaching training programs, invested hundreds of hours in study and practice coaching, and, before the end of 2022, got certified by the International Coaching Federation. It was a LOT of work! I also signed my first paying clients and am now growing my clientele by the day/week/month. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, and I look forward to expanding my impact.
But to the subject of the post, what is the difference between Coaching and Mentoring? In its simplest form, this is what I’ve learned:
- Mentors (and consultants) spend much more time telling people how to do things than listening, asking questions, and being curious. This is often deemed more time efficient if the mentor/consultant is truly an expert in an area, but it can lead to advice whiplash for individuals when they get non-stop conflicting advice from a host of mentors.
- By comparison, coaches are trained to ask their clients questions, to help them discover their own answers, opportunities, and new paths. This coaching habit took me longer to buy into than most because I was so used to sharing my genius (sarcasm intended) and solving problems for people. Many (including me) ask, “why would someone pay a coach and then not seek their advice?” The truth is that the coach often doesn’t have (or need) all of the background/domain knowledge, and instead is there to help the high-achieving client sort through ideas already percolating in their head.
Of course, books (and thousands of blog posts) dig into this distinction in excruciating detail. But that’s the gist of it. It isn’t to say that some coaching sessions/engagements don’t combine a bit of both coaching and mentoring, but it’s important for a coach to be aware when they are switching into different roles. In fact, it’s recommended that coaches call out these transitions and to even get the client’s permission before doing so.
Did this answer the primary question/distinction? What did I miss?
